But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
Randomize
