i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
Sober January is a disaster.
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
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