we have officially mastered the walk of shame
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
So much rum. So many feels.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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