The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
We had sex on a dog bed..
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
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