I want to have your abortion
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
Randomize
