A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
