Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
