is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
