Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Randomize
