The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
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