Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
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