Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
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