this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
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