This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
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