She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
