thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize
