..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
Randomize
