After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
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