You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
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