I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
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