So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
Randomize
