Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
My life is pants optional.
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
Randomize
