I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
Randomize
