Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
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