Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
