What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
Randomize
