i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
pray to the hookup gods
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Randomize
