New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Randomize
