yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
Randomize
