What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize
