absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
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