He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
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