She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
Randomize
