Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
Randomize
