i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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