Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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