I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
Randomize
