Pregnant stripper...not hot.
Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Randomize