its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
I need to sanitize my soul.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize
