But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Randomize
