I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Randomize
