I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
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