So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Randomize
