I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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