found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
Randomize
