I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
Randomize
