Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
he fucked my hip out of place.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
