why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize
