READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
