she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
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