ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
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