This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
Found your dick twin last night
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Randomize
